Recently, Jana brought home a surprise treat from the store: Eggos! I was beside myself with glee… until she pulled out….
AUNT JEMIMA
Now, some people grow up in “pop” households instead of soda. Some people learned to put ketchup on their eggs. I was taught that the Mrs. Butterjemima family was sacrilege. Sweet sweet maple is where it’s at, from the great Canadian North down through the state of Vermont.
“But the syrup was, like, 10 bucks. And this was only 2,” was the argument.
“And do you know why it’s 2 dollars?” was mine.
Now accused of being a snob, I must turn to the facts. The facts are these.
INGREDIENTS:
Corn Syrup, High Fructose Corn Syrup, Water, Cellulose Gum, Caramel Color, Salt, Benzoate and Sorbic Acid, Artificial and Natural flavors, Sodium Hexametaphosphate (say whaaaat?)
And what’s in my Trader Joe’s organic maple syrup that I picked up for $7?
Syrup. FROM A TREE.
I wouldn’t classify myself as “gung-ho” on the organic movement, but I try to make better choices where I can. So I ask myself. How much does $5 matter here? How much damage does a HFCS concoction REALLY do, versus natural sugar? Sugar is sugar right? Well, not really.
Sugar Crash… Course
There are many different molecules which fall under the “sugar” umbrella but the most common one that people think of is the white stuff known as cocaine table sugar. aka Sucrose:
It’s our standard disaccharide sugar. It’s got a 50/50 ratio of glucose and fructose. Glucose, our primary source of energy, is pretty awesome. Like, it feeds our brain. And every cell in our body loves to break that stuff down. Fructose is kiiiiind of okay too. When not presented in an excess ratio, like in, say… HFCS. (Sidenote: there are people who have a fructose intolerance and the stuff is torture to their digestive systems. Not fun.)
Why is that bad?
Fructose only has one place to go: YOUR LIVER. Your liver is the only place that fructose can be metabolized. When it’s working on the fructose, your liver has no fucks to give about anything else. So while this is not a behavior unique to our humble sugar, let me ask you a question. Be honest now: Isn’t your liver getting enough abuse as it is?
Personally, I’d rather save the bodily abuse for a more worthy substance, like a fresh pint.
What if i realllly like the taste of Sodium Hexametaphosphate?
ooOO I really like this post! So funny. I’m fickle with my syrup too, although I prefer Aunt Jemima’s frozen waffles to Eggos. Just sayin’. Also, milkthistle is supposed to encourage better function of your liver. That’s two cocktails for you, miss!
I’ve never had AJ’s waffels. Though I’d love to get my hands on some hemp waffles, I’ve heard they’re pretty good. (and moderately healthy!)
How does milkthistle taste? If you want a powerhouse liver concoction, there’s always dandelion tea + lemon squeeze & cranberry juice. Not the tastiest, but not too terrible.
I like that your fructose and glucose are holding hands. Please don’t tell me they’re getting ice cream on their date. That’s just way too sweet.
No, no ice cream. Then galactose (a monomer in lactose sugar) would have to join and you know… two’s a party, three’s a crowd!
You are too smart, my dear. And I agree – maple all the way!